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What I'm Wearing: Jacket - Forever 21, T-Shirt - H&M, Pants - Kenneth Cole,
Watch - Daniel Wellington (Use my code MRDOM to get 15% off your order)
Last week I sat in a medium sized movie theater and took a trip to the hundred acre woods, A place I haven't been to since I was child. I was already excited for "Christopher Robin" but I didn't realize how much that film would impact me within its short 2 hour span. I really connected with Christopher and Pooh. I have been living every moment but I haven't truly stopped to look around me and take in everything that has been happening this summer. It took Christopher Robin to hit a breaking point to realize life isn't all about work. We have our family and our dear loved ones. I don't want to hit a breaking point. But if I don't put my phone down, I will. Sure, I have been taking a few loved ones along for the ride, but I noticed an unhealthy habit growing. As a social influencer it is apart of my job to share literally everything. I go on instagram and I see people share their every living moment through 15 second "stories" and advertising their personal life and jobs in a way that is just so narcissistic.I have friends who I don't really get to talk to anymore, because all they do is obsess over getting the perfect shot, or slaving over their job because they want to make it in this world. Sure, no pain, no gain, but what are you gaining if you are literally killing yourself with work. You loose what you are passionate about and you just end up coming across as fake. I literally cringe at one of my friends work now. I know he works incredibly hard for his influencer success, but hearing what he goes through and then seeing the final product online, it's just so fake. I hate to say that because T was one of my closest friends, but really it's not genuine and I feel like he has lost his touch because there is a level of desperate. That is something I don't want to come across as, desperate. What kind of social influencer would I be, if i'm not being genuine. I saw many parallels in Christopher Robin to todays society. So many people would do anything for their dreams, but is reaching low levels and covering it up with shit loads of photoshop really the kind of so called inspiring content that we want to influence the world with?
As you all know, I have been told by numerous doctors that I will go blind when I’m older. That’s why we have done the 6 surgeries, to slow that process down. That’s something I have always kept in the back of my mind. I truly don’t believe that i’m going to go blind. In fact I refuse to go blind. I’m not letting this thing take me down. After I saw Christopher Robin, I was thinking about social media and my job as a social influencer. I stopped myself and said what the fuck am I doing? Some of this stuff may seem necessary, but it’s not. We live in a world where we share literally every detail. For example, For god’s sake the leader of the United States spends more time tweeting than taking care of the country. It is apart of my job to share constantly, but I have realized, I don’t need to share every living moment. What kind of storyteller am I if I share majority of the story before the page is finished. Now like I said, I refuse to go blind. But, if worst comes to worst, I won’t be able to click on an IG story and watch back my life. That’s not how life works. I’d rather take in the moment and cherish it and if I record a video or take personal pics, I’ll keep them to myself or share them when i feel like they are important to share. You gotta remember there is so many people in this world who are completely blind and they can’t even view our content. They don’t know what a filter or gif is, they can’t see that. Everyday we take for granted the tools we have such as our phones and computers, and yes even social media. I know I can’t put my phone down forever, I gotta interact somehow with the audience that feeds me. But I can limit what I share. It’s okay to stop and look at the world around you. I think people are so scared because they don’t look up and see what is truly going on. Instead we see a world glued to social media, what happens if we just stop for one second and look around us? Like I said, I have a friend who makes it seem like he lives the most beautiful life through beautifully edited photos and lavish trips. He doesn't get to enjoy one minute of it, because all he does is worry about getting the perfect shot so that he can share that on social media and make it seem like he is the perfect influencer. Screw all that, You get to go to some of the most beautiful places in the world, and you don't take in any of it? That's not living your dream, that is demolishing your hopes and turning your dreams into fears. I sat down and analyzed everything I have done this summer. I went on my instagram page and watched these so called mini "stories" within what I do. I didn't like it. I had the tendency to share everything from watching movies to taking the train and beyond. I feel like it takes away from the meaning of the messages I am trying to share with my audience. I know it is a great way of promo for me, but that's not how I want to promote who I am. That is not how I want to come across. I can't tell my story in 15 seconds, I want people to stop and maybe read what I say, or listen to my songs and picture my story unfold around them. Enough of this fake influencer crap. I'm not trying to hate on people who share their every living moment, I know that is apart of some people's brand, but it's not apart of mine. I now realize why my parents despise social media. Because it literally is a bunch of crap. I don't want to stoop to a level where I have to feel the need to sell myself every single hour of the day. I want to put my phone down and look around me and remember these moments of my life. I don't want to take for granted, what so many people already take for granted. There are people who can't see or hear, they can't use these tools that we have been blessed with. They don't let their dreams drown them out, because they gotta have a different sense of hope than we do. Maybe if we thought like them for a second, this world could be better than the mess it has become. I'm not taking another moment for granted. I'm gonna tell my story the way all stories should be told, all the flaws and everything in between and nothing less than the truth.
I have been pretty genuine so far. I feel like if I didn't stop for a second and take that trip into the hundred acre woods, I would be headed down a path I won't be proud of. My story is delicate, life is delicate. I want to handle it with care and treat it with the respect it deserves. Life is more than electronic devices and social media. I know I need both to share my story, but I just gotta remember to respect my journey and share it in a way that is natural and pure, not forced and uninspired. I want to inspire you all and this is the way I'm going to do that. Some people may not agree with this tactic, but hey, at least I'll get to take in the world around me, so I don't loose myself in my dreams and forget who I truly am.
Photographer: Courtney Johnson
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
2 Years In My Life: Chapter 7