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What I'm Wearing: Jacket - Forever 21, Shirt - Good Fellow, Shorts - Good Fellow, Shoes - Apt 9
"Fly Like A Bird"
I wanted to take trip back down memory lane to a vulnerable side from mid May. Before summer ends, I just want to remember how exactly we got here to this moment. What a ride, wha a flight.
May 21, 2018
Yesterday I had one of the longest shooting days ever. I'm trying to get all this content ready before Summer, because I honestly don't know if anyone wants to work with me. I have this big interview out with this guy I met named Steven. This whole week on MrDomBaza is about him and a program in Oakland called HEAL. Other than that, nothing, I have nothing aligned for me. I'm a little nervous because this is make it or break it for me. A dry spell has gotta end somewhere right? Courtney and I spent the whole day shooting yesterday and by the time I got home last night I just passed out. I was at the beach all day and had the worst time trying to shoot with the winds current condition. To top it off, it was freezing. So it looks like I won't be using shorts again this summer. It's weird, I never have to take public transportation for shoots. My cousin is usually the one who does it all. But now, I need some new blood and my sister Courtney has always been one that I can turn to. Poor girl was freezing her ass off yesterday. I am a little nervous for this week because I just want to give Steven's "story" the justice it deserves. I can't wait for all of you to meet him soon. He's a very cool guy and I left our interview last week on some sort of spell. As you can see in the page ahead of this, I hope that our paths cross again very soon. I think it would be cool if he did a shoot for my site. Have more new blood come in and join my story. It's only been a few weeks since I turned 23 and it feels like a delicate situation. It's a month since surgery and I feel like we are still navigating a down portion of the ride. When Courtney went back in the car yesterday, I decided to stay outside for a few more mins to watch the birds fly above me. It may have been cold af, but I need some sense of clarity here. I'm this close, thisssss close to breaking out of this tower completely. I have already stepped out of it, but now it's time to let my hair fly within the wind. I watched "Tangled" last week, and I get why Rapunzel wanted out... all the girl wanted was to see something new. I don't blame her. Courtney took me to these parts of SF that I have never been to. My cousin is not the biggest fan of straying to far from the path, but Courtney has become a pro at navigating SF. One of the beaches that we shot at reminded me of home, LA. My dad took all of us when I was around 4 to this boardwalk and I remember walking late at night with the family. No one was out there but us. I remember the long boardwalk and hearing the wind breeze through the ocean under the moonlight. It is one of my most fond memories. To hear the seagulls sing a song, I could only wonder what goes on in their mind. Everyday they can take flight and for a moment in time, just breathe. Maybe I should work on some breathing exercises. I'm already working out a lot more, maybe if I breathe I wouldn't feel so unsure. But as I was saying, the boardwalk. Walking along this boardwalk I have never been to, off the PCH, was a trip down memory lane for me. It for me, is a sign, that somehow someway this new journey of shooting with Courtney will lead me to more. Somehow someway my interaction with Steven will grow into something more. Somehow someway my wings will grow back after getting torn apart by the storm. It's still spring and I want to end it right and with an important and impactful message. I think that route is tomorrow's youth. All they want to do is fly and learn to stand out on their own. I think I have some ideas on how I will handle that. Other than that, I gotta give myself some credit for knowing deep down inside of me, i'm gonna fly. I did in the 90's, the early 2000's, the 2010's, and then of course I hit rough patch, but i'm almost back and somehow, someway, i'll make it right and let the bird within my soul fly.
Photographer: Courtney Johnson
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
2 Years In My Life: Chapter 7