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What I'm Wearing - Polo & Pants - Good Fellow, Shoes - H&M
"Good Thing" (feat. Health Aid Kombucha)
Back to back entires. Oh no! Something must be wrong? Nah. Nothing is wrong, I just want to let out some thoughts. The beach is the one place where I am able to just let the ocean be my music for a little bit. The last time I was at this exact location was one year ago. It has been a year since I escaped and made this my hideaway. I'm thinking a lot about the people in my life. My parents, my p, my loved ones. We have come a long way since the first fall out in "This Love" and My poor dad getting his truck stolen in "Hideaway". All of that is now a year ago and it feels so weird to be out here cleansing my soul with kombucha and reflecting on what has happened since. To be honest it feels so good to sit here and not really stress about bad things. I mean, there is so much bad going on in the world, but at least my summer has been a major step up from last summer.
I'm doing my best to not loose myself in life. I got this whole charming mother fucker vibe going on, it is kinda weird that this is my new persona. It is working though. Last year I sat at this exact beach and just bawled my eyes out, mentally and physically. I was so hurt that my relationship was slipping through my fingers. I was so hurt that someone did what they did to my dad. You know, my dad still doesn't have a new truck. Instead he drives this old ass purple truck. It is smaller than him and everyday is a little reminder that someone took a piece of our family and tried to bring us down. Yet, here we still are. My dad may be driving this small purple truck, but in a way it has kinda grounded us more. Not that we were on top of the world, it just a metaphor that now we are kinda more tight nit because of what happened. I feel like as the year went on and I lost more pounds, I shed away all that negativity that came along with it. Like the bubbliness you feel when you first drink kombucha, my heart still feels the little sting from what happened 12 months ago. We are at a better place. Things are getting better slowly. I hope that it doesn't take another year for my dad to get a replacement truck though. Something is right around the corner, something good, it has to be. As for my relationship, It fluctuates, but we are at a really good place. So much growth has happened over the last 12 months and few months in general. I'm at an interesting place in life. I know i'm headed towards another crossroad and I don't want to fuck it up. Last time I was at a crossroad was last year and we all know how depressing that story was. I HAD BLONDE HAIR. NOOOOO. If only I could insert the crying emoji. I made some choices that are forever documented.. but here I am. Sitting at a beach where I once vented and asked why is all this bad happening. Now it is a year later and I can just feel at ease knowing things are better. Not the best, but slowly getting somewhere better than before.
I had short hair the last time I was here. I was basically bold. Now to feel that wind blow through my long and growing hair and the sand between my toes, it feels good. I feel good. So I raise my kombucha to the sea and cheers to a good thing that I now have documented to hideaway some of that bad that happened over the course of this journey.
Photographer: Courtney Johnson
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
2 Years In My Life: Chapter 7