What I'm Wearing: Shirt: Denim & Flower, Tie: Forever 21, Pants: H&M, Shoes: Giorgio Brutini
"How Great Thou Art"
Happy Easter. I hope you all had a great Holy Week. Easter, just like Christmas, is a time of reflection. We look back and think of our sins and why Jesus died for us on that cross. I am going to talk about my relationship with my best friend Jesus, spring, and everything god is painting for us to see, to leave us mesmerized and say, wow, How Great Thou Art.
When I was putting together this outfit, I wanted something light. Usually from Holy Thursday - Good Friday, things tend to be dark. My mom raised me to not listen to music, watch tv, go out and have fun, from Holy Thursday - Good Friday. People may say, Oh that sucks! But honestly, it's the least I could do. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a sinner. You would be lying to, if you said you weren't a sinner as well. Each and every one of us sins in some way. We all have good and bad sides. It's up to us to own up to them. Every year i'm reminded Jesus went up on that cross to die for all of our sins we create daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. I get real emotional thinking about it. Every year I go up to the cross on Good Friday and l get down to kiss the cross, cry, and feel in that moment a little of the sorrow that was felt that day. Then every time Easter Sunday comes around, I can't help but feel a little uplifted. I look around and I see the beauty of spring. All the flowers blossoming, the grass and trees greener than ever. People may say oh mother nature created that, that is true, but that is a gift from god I think we sometimes take for granted. We take for granted the beauty around us. I chose to wear this shirt because it reminded me of the beauty around us. The floral print on my body surrounded by the beautiful flowers here in San Fran, get's me a little emotional. As a man who is loosing his sight with a disease he did not ask for, I cherish the little things like the floral print on my shirt matching the blooming flowers. Every year on Easter it's a light hearted feeling. That's why I chose to go with the light blue pants from H&M. These pants just SCREAM spring. Combined with the floral print shirt and light blue tie, it was a perfect match to sum up my thoughts about Easter Sunday. I did not want to include dark shades in here. Life needs a little light after Jesus continues to suffer for our sins.
There is an intro in a song I love called "Shoulders" by For King and Country. I look up to the mountains
Does my strength come from the mountains? No, my strength comes from God, Who made heaven, and earth, and the mountains. I always say this to myself everyday when I need some reminder of strength at times when I feel the cross I have to bare is too much. Growing up I was raised around prayers. My mom is very religious, but not the crazy kind. I was raised to be open minded and accepting of everyone and everything. That's the Jesus I know, that's the one that loves me and scarifies himself for me not just on Easter, but every day. When I got sick in 2014 I felt my world explode. I asked myself over and over why did this happen to me. I was always strong with my prayers, but since I'm being honest, I became stronger with praying when I got sick. My relationship with god became more solid. I talk to Jesus a lot. I'm talking to him as I type this. I talk about everything with him. I thank him everyday for a new day, I thank him for not leaving me behind when I need him the most. There are some days that I can't see. My vision decides to turn off. I say turn off, but there is some medical term that I don't really feel like looking up right now. I get so scared. There was a night in 2016 when it got so bad I just screamed. My eye was leaking some sort of blood and goo and I couldn't see. I just screamed please help me, please if you can hear me, I need you. The pain didn't stop, I had to go to the hospital. It was one of the worst days with this disease. I came home and I cried, I looked at his picture and said, I don't know what you want from me anymore, but I know this pain i'm going through, is something you wanted me to go through, it's something you need me to go through. So every time I have those moments when it shuts off, I think of him. I ask him to help me breathe, help me be okay with the pain. One of my favorite songs is "How Great Thou Art". Jimmy Needham did an incredible rendition and flipped it on it's head. He added in rap verses and really made me love it more. I turn to Christian music when I am down. When this song comes up on my shuffle, I think of the beauty around us. I go for a walk and look at everything and everyone. Everything is a picture God has painted. We are all in this painting. Pining to be loved and accepted by the people around us. The painting is beautiful, but it has rough patches. Each and everyone of us go through something. Sometimes it's not as bad as others, sometimes it's the worst thing possible. But we all gotta remember Jesus suffered for us, and he rose above it all in the end. When I open my voice to sing with the voice he gave me, I am proud to sing my soul to my savior god to thee. I look into the air and your glory shines. So when I walk outside it's always story time.
When your feeling down, look at everything around you. Admire the beautiful painting we are living in. Accept the darkness. Embrace as much of the light as you can. Talk to him always, tell him what's wrong, he will see you are enchained by your own sorrow. In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow. He hates to see you like this.
There is no way you can deny it. He can see that you're oh so sad, and so quiet. So get on up and sing a new song, Chiquitita.
Happy Easter everyone.
Thank you Jesus for another day.
God bless you all.
Photographer: Joanna Wheeler
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title.
2 Years In My life: Chapter 1