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What I'm Wearing: Jacket - ASOS, Sweater - Good Fellow, Jeans - 501 Levis, Watch - Jord
"I Like Me Better" (Feat. Karuna)
Those of you who have religiously read this diary of mine, since page one in April 2017, you know I have evolved so much. Through the ups and the downs I have brought you along with me on my journey. As you all can see, i'm feeling pretty good. My hair is growing out longer than I ever thought I would grow it, i'm down 18 pounds, and i'm busier than ever. I have been finding it pretty difficult to juggle all my activities alongside my illness. I need to be upfront, I get extremely drained. Usually people with glaucoma are ages 50 and up. Their activity level is not as high as 23 year old like me. So finding ways to handle that has been very interesting. Luckily I'm a health nut and love healthy foods and drinks. It is a little hobby of mine to hunt the best organic food and drinks that will help my body out. It is hard enough being on glaucoma meds and being on my feet for 7-10 hours on shoot days and taking 7-8 trains a day to get to and from locations. That in itself is really draining. I went to my local market, the Berkeley Bowl and picked up a few bottles of this new drink called Karuna. It has literally been my jam and all I have been drinking lately, besides water and some other things as you already know. Karuna has so many benefits for your body. It is also insanely tasty. From detox, to rejuvenate and pro fit (my fave) and the other flavors which I will have to pick up on my next Berkeley bowl run. These drinks are actually giving me a boost in energy. I'm not so big on coffee, so to have a drink that is all natural like this is right up my alley. They had samples at Berkeley bowl and I was glad to see people try this drink that can make someone like me, who is tired literally all the time, feel like me, well, me on my good days.
Now that I have some liquid to keep me energized I look ahead to an ending of sorts. Summer is not over until September, but I find it so weird that I have to plan that far ahead. Trust me, I'm keeping my word and living in the moment. But certain things need to be thought out. Sometimes I want to write about more personal things that I keep to myself, I usually save that for songs or times when they fit more with the narrative. As I plan ahead and set an ending point for this story of mine, to somehow go full circle, I choose opportunities and selective people that will only help continue the journey in a way that suits me. I'm feeling really good. Regardless of how tired I get, i'm feeling extremely good about everything. It may be the Karuna talking, but no lie, I like the road i'm headed on. I'm staying cautious and i'm watching my back. Because I cannot be blindsided by something again. People tend to want to knock you down once they see you rise up. Sometimes people want credit for your hard work and everything you are doing. As I have learned over the past few weeks, sometimes you have to put your foot down and choose yourself at the end of the day. I have been choosing my health for a bit now, but I never thought I would have to re evaluate the people in my life. Even if it is family, sometimes distancing yourself is the best way. Because at the end of the day, you have to do whats best for you. No negativity should be brought into something that has been getting better and better. It is sad that we have to let people go down a road you don't want them to go, but you let them go because you know in the long run they will see first hand the mistakes they have made. It is nice to be surrounded by family and loved ones, but we have to be okay with choosing ourselves sometimes. I don't like being alone, but I like me better alone, than being in a room with people who only want to take what is yours and sell it as their own.
The moral of these of thoughts of mine, is do what is best for you. I have been a better version of myself, than when I first started sharing my thoughts with you last year. I was not a version of me that I can be proud of. Now, i'm choosing me more. Choose what is best for your mind, body and soul. If that means sleeping more and drinking and eating more organic, then do it. If that means cutting out people from your close circle, even if it is family, do it. You can't let something come along and try to take you down. You can't let yourself down when you know you are so close to an ending that suits you. Because once you reach that ending, you know a brand new beginning is right on the next blank page of a new book. I have been talking with my close circle, and everyone is really digging this reclaimed version of me. I'm taking a stand. They like me better this way, honestly, I like me better too.
It really is so great to see brands like Karuna be represented at local staples like Berkeley Bowl. Thanks Dean for giving out samples so they can like themselves a little better as well.
Learn more about Karuna and where you can purchase here
Photographer: Courtney Johnson & Dom Baza
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
2 Years In My Life: Chapter 7