What I'm Wearing: Blazer - H&M, Suit Pants - Van Heusen, Shoes - Calvin Klein, Watch - Daniel Wellington
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START OF MRDOMBAZA BOOK 2: Chapter 5
"Let It Go"
2017 is finally behind us. I am very thrilled about this. As you know from the past 4 chapters, things were not so easy for myself and my family in 2017. I obviously wasn't the biggest fan of 17, I don't think 17 liked me and my family very much as well. As a parting gift, 2017 went all Oprah on us. "You get the flu, and you get the flu, heck! You all get the flu". In the past week it has been a chain reaction, we all got hit with this virus. I actually have no proper voice at the moment and i'm still very congested. It's all good though. I was fine with this whole getting sick at the end of 2017. Better to get it out of my way, that way I can journey on in this new year. It just goes to show that this last year was just a place holder for the much better 2018. It's funny how I titled this page "Let It Go". In Frozen Elsa said the cold never bothered her anyways, then in Frozen Fever, she gets the flu. Regardless, she was still able to get a grasp of the current moment in her life, and let go of all the bad she has faced. As the seconds, minutes, and hours pass on my Daniel Wellington watch, 2017 becomes a further thing of the past. The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside of me, and I will no longer keep it in. 2018 will be the year I stand in the light of day.
Winter is all about the darker shades, the blues, the classy suits, the warm sweaters, the leather boots or jackets, and the fashionable coats. It may seem like I'm wearing all blue because i'm a little icy towards 2017, but it's the complete opposite. When I was first diagnosed with Glaucoma I watched Frozen on endless repeat. There was something so empowering about Elsa. I related so much to the character. She was shunned away because of who she really was. No one understood her powers or the beautiful things that could come from them. When she sang "Let It Go", I saw a bit of myself in her. When she threw out her old clothes, let down her guard, and transformed herself into the iconic Elsa little girls and boys adore today, that was everything to me. I know the blue is a symbol for her powers but it's also a symbol of empowerment. Elsa owned up to who she is. In that moment she became proud of who she is inside and out. I woke up on New Years Day and even though I was not feeling well, I felt relieved. Last year was just further proof to myself that I am stronger than I think I am. I always write down how i'm feeling. If that's here in my diary or in my songwriting, I document all my thoughts and feelings. I read a few of the earlier pages from chapters 1-4 and saw so much growth over the 9 month time period that those chapters take place. Emotions run through my heart and I feel the few moments of joy and the many moments of sorrow all over again. But on January 1st, I let it go. I'm never going to get anywhere if I keep dwelling on what has happened. I will always reflect and expand upon that reflection on my journey. That is why I always jump back and forth from different timelines of my life. Because each event, no matter how big or small they may be, they all connect to who I am in this moment. I am proud of the man I have become/ the man I am becoming. I'm dying to see where the journey goes. Because I honestly don't know. I have a map, but there is many different turns I could take. If no one likes what I do this year, then that is on them. I'm going to let my storm rage on and let it go. Because the cold may make us sick, but the iciness of the world, never really bothered me anyways.
I feel as if i'm back in the water swimming to the shore. This time the water is colder, but there is a sense of warmth from the fire in my soul. I have this drive that is waiting to explode. I can look back at the journey, but I'm never going back. The past is in the past. I'm not perfect, people say I was before all of this... well sorry to disappoint, but that perfect boy is gone, he's been gone. I probably will make a few mistakes this year, and that's fine. I will rise like the break of dawn. It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through. I look forward to getting stronger and stronger with each passing day, "I Won't Back Down". I look forward to be one with the wind and sky. Let's see what happens as my inner power flurries through the air into the sky.
Photographer: Joanna Wheeler
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
2 Years In My Life: Chapter 5