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What I'm Wearing: Hoodie - H&M, Pants - Good Fellow, Shoes - Good Fellow,
Socks - Happy Socks
"Like To Be You"
It was a long but short May. It all came and went so fast I never really got to take any of it in. I needed the distraction from my normal routines. A lot has happened. I jumped right back in the water after remission and have been swimming faster than ever. Now I'm coming up for a breath of fresh air. 49 entries into this story and i'm still figuring shit out. May had a lot of good moments, honestly it did. It had it's fair share of disappointments too. I guess for every high there is a low. But June is here now. Summer is right around the corner and we are about to reach the halfway mark of this story.
How have I been? Something I keep asking myself as I settle into breathe the air around me. I'm good, I feel good, my insides might not be good, but I feel good enough to wake up and get out of bed to write this. I'm glad May gave a lot of distractions for me. It was a great month for my collaborations. I'm very proud of the work I have put out over the last 5 weeks. I ended April on a confused note. Last time I wrote about my feelings I was still in the early stages of post surgery. Now i'm dealing with the aftermath and what that is leading to. If you follow me on social media, by now you already know my surgery wasn't 100% successful. It didn't turn out the way my doctor would have liked it to. In fact when I look in the mirror, it looks the same as before. I don't want to admit that, but it does. And literally no changes have been made for my eye. I went in for this operation to ease my pain, only to come out the exact same way I went in. I am a little livid about this, but like I said, I have been so busy that these problems i'm facing only come to the forefront of my mind when I stop to take a breath.
I was supposed to go to New York last month. P surprised me with hotels and activities for us to do. But that trip was never meant to be. Something happened on his end and i'm not about to let someone I love, leave someone important in their time of need. Our families need us at certain times in our lives, I needed P to stay in France even if that means we will be apart for a little bit longer. I wasn't thrilled about that, but I can have years of that, right now he needs to be there and I will be there whenever the time is right. I could have easily gone to New York on my own, but i'm not taking my first trip to the East Coast on bittersweet terms.
With New York scrapped, I ended up staying home by myself for my birthday. I think the Happy Socks I received for their 10 year anniversary look much more happier than the crying 23 year old who stayed in bed for majority of the day. 2 of the people I am closest to, Dan and Fenny, my bros from overseas, texted me back and forth trying to get me out of bed. They succeeded. I got out of bed, made my own birthday cake, set up my phone and recorded me all by myself celebrating my 23rd birthday. That sounds so depressing, but my mom always raised us, no matter how bad the bday is, she raised us to blow out a candle every year. In our culture, it is not good to not blow out a candle for your birthday. You get no inch of luck if you don't at least acknowledge your day of birth. I was so down on my birthday. Alone but not really feeling alone, I just wish I could have had the people I wanted with me.
You know what I mean? I didn't let the birthday blues get me down for long. I did celebrate with my spider-man Tom Holland, by watching Infinity War in the cinemas again. Hell, I paid for the IMAX ticket. If I didn't get to celebrate with the ones I love, at least I got to celebrate watching Peter Parker turn to ashes from Thanos's snap on a huge screen... Oh shit, that is a spoiler.. my bad. I don't have time to backspace, but by now ya'll should know these spoilers, unless you live under a rock... (inserts Monkey closing eyes emoji). Anyways, I guess this is the first month I really put in work as a social influencer. It is a little weird because it legit has kept me busy. My Oakland Unified collab, I put my whole heart into that. I put whole heart into everything I do, but that meeting with Steven made such an impact on my journey moving forward.
I think I changed my point of view as an influencer. I don't know what it is like to be in situations like P right now or other people who are genuinely struggling from other various issues, and I want to step into their shoes for a moment in time. I learned a lot from Steven and I saw for the first time, in a long time, that I have the power I once had in the music industry, in this influencer world. I can use this platform for more than I imagined. To be able to step into other people's shoes and see through their eyes, when I can't see through mine, that is what I want to do. There is so much injustice in this world and I want to speak out other things I am passionate about. We'll get to that as the story goes on, but I had to make note of it. Being so down the first few weeks paid off in the end. I left May really proud of this realization of what I can do via my story and the journey I am on. "In Time" we shall see how it goes.
June is here and i'm keeping myself extra busy as I head back into the hospital in 2 weeks. My doctor will determine if we are going to do the surgery again. Honestly I don't want to, but i'm a big boy, I know if needed, I will do it. While that inner hell unfolds in the back of my mind, I won't let whatever happens stop me from doing what I know I can do. I love writing and telling my story, I just hope that my platform continues to grow so I can reach more audiences and learn what it is like to be them. When you learn how someone else lives their life, your own life starts to make more sense. You become a more whole person. You begin to understand the world around you. I feel like I have a clear understanding, but there is so much wrong in this world. I may not have two working eyes, but I have two working hands and I want to change the world with them and learn what it is like to be you.
PS: It has been an honor to team up with Happy Socks for over a dozen looks during the past 49 pages of my story, this last year. Honored to once again team up with them to celebrate 10 years of their Happiness. Congratulations Happy Socks for 10 years of happiness spread across the world with your happy socks. It’s been a great time being apart of your team. Thank you for supporting and being apart of my journey . -Dom
Photographer: Courtney Johnson
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Book 2: Chapter 6