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"City Of Black & White"
I keep thinking back to the first Avengers movie. Cap said something that really stuck with me, ever since 2012. It is the scene where Nick Fury and Cap talk about saving the world. Cap says, are you trying to get me back into the world again?. It is just a small part of their conversation, but it has always stuck with me. Are you trying to get me back into the world again? That right there. It's no secret that life has been a mess lately. I spent over an hour this past weekend, going through everything I have done over the last year. Furthermore, I have come to the conclusion, that my life really is off balance and off track, due to things that have been out of my control. Something that I have known for some time now. With that in mind, I have to lay out all these puzzle pieces and try to find a way to make these new pieces fit in with the overall puzzle of my life. Last year really changed the game for me. It opened up so much that I never saw coming. With all that put behind me, how do I bring elements from that and make it mesh with this messier version of my life. Last year was in living color. This year, somehow everything has gone back to black and white? In a meta way, not literally. But I hope you get what i'm trying to say. With the kids going back to school, and everyone getting into a non summer routine again, I hope that all this stuff that has happened over the last few months can find a way to ride along with the life I was living. Let's not forget, black and white turned into color, in the long run. I'm willing to take this extra baggage and carry it on my back to get the city of color back in my life. I have seen bits and pieces of who I have become float all around me. I'm trying to catch them all, like a game of Pokemon. Catch what I loved most and continue to do my best to have it adjust with the changes that have happened in my life, my mind, and my heart. On somedays, it is difficult to navigate around my feelings. But I still know the destination my heart wants to go to. I still know and still want what I want. There's a lesson to be learned from my current stay, in the city of black and white. I hope one year from now, as I lay out all the new puzzle pieces I will have before me, that i'll look back at this complicated time. I hope something that I have done now, or will do soon, will help me, with something I need then, in that moment. Just because things aren't always what they seem, doesn't mean you stop living. The world you have to step back into, is not always the world, you once knew. I've had a hard time with that. Because, I don't want to live in this kinda world. But I have to deal with what i'm given. If this is what I have right now, then I have no choice but to thrive within it. I have to make it into a world, that I want. How do I do that with these up and down days? I don't know. All I can do is figure it out, one step at a time. I don't have to get comfortable living this kind of life, but I do have to roll with it and continue walking until I see the colors of the rainbow, that I desperately miss.
Courtney Johnson & Dom Baza
What I'm Wearing: Shirt - H&M, Suit Pants - Kenneth Cole
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - CHAPTER 15
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)