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"Everywhere You Look"
It's nice to have family by your side as you are in a way, reborn again. Getting out of remission and changing the flow of things can be weird. But it can also be a blessing in disguise. I knew that once I came forward and literally let down all my walls, I would have to relearn some things. By relearn, I mean see things in new ways. One of my wishes was to go to places I love and see them as if I was seeing them for the first time. Another wish is to go places i've never gone and experience how that would be for the first time. I want to spend as much time doing things that i'll remember for the rest of my life. As I look back I want good and happy moments to even out all the dark times. 2019 started out very quiet. That was because of the surgery and all that came with it. Since remission ended I needed some lightness to bring me into the next pages of my story. I asked my sisters if we could go this arcade in SF. I've been there numerous times, but I was never really happy being there and feeling extremely down. I remember one time I just sat there with my walking stick and watched as everyone had fun. I always adored the place, partly because I love "The Princess Diaries". Julie Andrews and Annie Hathaway shot the first film there and I was always obsessed with the idea of arm wrestling with the machine that Mary Poppins beat. If anything, Dash and Courtney are the ones who saw me at my worst. They are really the only 2 that I am close to in this area. I hope I can make some more friends before I eventually say bon voyage, but to have my sisters be by my side has been nice. I do miss my guy friends though, it's a shame they all live overseas or in other states. That's something I would like to change this year, to see them more and divide my time with more people that I love and more friends who I hope can become family and have a bond like I do with my sisters. I always introduce Dash and Courtney as my sisters, because they are. There is a line that you cross when your friends become family, we crossed that line years ago. And the more you see each other through, blood or not, you build up a bond that even some families don't have. I know that wherever I end up in the world, I can make a mark on a map and these 2 will be there, everywhere I look for a home. I wanted to have a day like this to kind of celebrate for a moment in time and honor all that just happened. Over remission I made a promise to myself. Spend more time with the people that I love, because I am planning on leaving them behind soon. I mean i'll never leave them behind, they will always be with me, but I need to go live the life i'm meant to and stand there and proclaim it for myself and everyone that I love. I want to be happy and that's something I truly want to continue to work on and work towards. This day was the best first day of the year for me. One of my ideal days is spending time with my loved ones in a city that has accepted me and showed me that after I do leave, living will somehow be possible, no matter how hard it will get. Courtney is about to graduate in May and Dash is now a boss lady and the lead at her job. My sisters are working hard to build their own lives while they shape their own futures. Me, what about me? What does this version of Dom Baza want now?... I want a lot, and I will get it by speaking and living my truth. I will get it by having days like this drive me to where I need to be. Just as I looked at this arcade as somewhere new that i've never been to, I have to look at my history as something new and take what's been done and flip it on it's head. I have to relearn the path and walk along it differently. That's why I needed to go and do something fun. Because old me would do something logical like stay indoors and watch a movie. New me wants to go play air hockey and arm wrestle with a machine from a classic film and then end my day outside the "Full House" home singing "Everywhere You Look". While being reminded from my sister Courtney to put on my dark glasses, because we gotta protect what we can. It's little details like that right there that sprinkle the past into the present and make it more clear that even the smallest things are still important. I'm glad I can have moments like this with the ones that I love, because no one will understand better than them, how complex it is for someone like me, to move froward. I love television and film and like I said, old me would stay home and watch The Princess Diaries and then marathon Full House. New me wanted to go insert myself directly into the locations used and live it out in my own life. Start the day at the arcade that Princess Mia loved and end the day at Tanner residents. Cause I know there will come a day when I feel lost out there and all alone and these memories will be the light in my heart to guide me home. Now that I think about it, it's probably around the corner, because the path to it has just walked upon and this new journey has just begun.
Photographer: Courtney Johnson ,& Dashia Robinson
What i'm wearing: Jacket - Forever 21, Jeans - H&M, Shoes - Lugz, Shades - WearMe Pro
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - Chapter 11
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)