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Evolution. As perspectives grow and change, we evolve. Like I said on the page before this, love. As I go through this whole tonal shift, I change along with it. I still feel like the person who I have grown into over the last year is within me. But the person I thought I was growing into as I showcased my eyes for the first time in 5 years, that's not the person I am or becoming. New York felt like that person that I wanted to be, that person is there. Those seeds where planted. But as soon as I took off on that flight, I came back to an upside down San Fran. Suddenly the person I could have become, is now having to adapt to something else in order to grow into, what I hope is a variation of what I want. Last summer left me as a changed person, for the better. This summer, I really don't know how to put into words what kind of person I am leaving this summer as. All I can tell you is, just because the summer is ending, I don't feel like this evolution is over. It's just starting and it's interesting to see how I come out on the other side of the feelings and issues, I am going through. It's a little more edgier. I thought I had become a little more edgier, I guess I just became a little more outgoing. Now it just feels like there's 2 sides of me. The side I have grown into and the side that I never knew I needed to scratch the surface of. My whole morality is based off of love. Love is patient, love is selfless, love is hopeful, love is kind. Then there's the other side of the coin. Love is jealous, love is selfish, love is helpless, love is blind. I've always had the first half apart of me. Now I guess as I have to continue confronting issues that were underlined. I have to explore the 2nd half of that. What does a darker Dom Baza look like? I mean, things got dark when I got sick, but this is a different kind of dark. This is the kind of dark that evens out a person to bring them right back to the center of their heart. Honestly, I feel like this evolution that I am going through, it's taking me on a journey to get to the the strongest center of my heart. I don't know why, but it feels like life is doing this to me, because my heart needs to be as strong as possible for what may come. I'm fragile as is, i'm strong, but I can become stronger. I've fought so much, I've lost too much, but there could always be something more that could happen. You can never prepare for it, but the trials you go through can help harden you, to help you, if that moment of despair ever tries to approach you. I don't know what this person I am becoming, will mean for the future of me. All I know is, whatever the hell this path I am on right now, it's not what I expected, and maybe it was always meant to be that way. I guess you can never have too many layers of complexity . Who I am mixed with, within both sides of love, now that's going to be interesting to see. Because that right there, would be someone else, I never thought I could become. And maybe, that will be something better than I could ever imagine.
What I'm Wearing: Jacket - The Weeknd XO Collection, Shirt - Uniqlo, Jeans - H&M, Boots - Forever 21
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - CHAPTER 15
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)